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In short: Life ain't all about just research, happiness is a pursuit, hope drives you forward and in all things, peace.
It's alright to question God, his existance. I believe man is obligated to question because of his free will. But do not stop questioning, keep pursuing for those answers thus getting wiser everyday not because wisdom is going to make you happy, but because it's better to be wise than foolish. I'm a christian now, I asked a lot of questions, I exerienced beautiful answers. In all, keep questioning and looking for those answers.